The Art of the Conversation

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Listening has already been discussed but after you have mastered listening, you need to take it one step further and think about the conversation in which you can test your listening and communicating skills. In order to be successful, conversations need to be two-sided. That means that one person should not be monopolizing the conversation. It is a two-way street with equal input.

The feelings that are evoked if a conversation is not balanced

It is easy to understand how a person in a lopsided conversation can be made to feel left out. If all that the other person wants is to stand up and deliver a monologue, the other person is really superfluous. Of course, that is not what you want to happen in a conversation. In fact, it is not a conversation at all. If you are feeling awkward in that situation, ask some relevant questions. It will get the person used to sharing the spotlight with you.

Each person in the conversation has the responsibility of speaking and listening in more or less equal amounts.

Find a balance

When it comes to the listening portion of the conversation, you not only need to hear the words that the other person is speaking but you also need to interpret their meaning and react according to that meaning. Even if you are in a situation in which one person is presenting information and ideas to the other person, as long as it is understood that there should be some sort of exchange between the two people, it is inappropriate for one of those people to be the sole speaker.

Each person should also have an equal amount of control over the conversation. That means that one person is allowed to interrupt the other person as he or she is speaking, as long as the interruptions are handled appropriately. As you are listening to the other person speak, you can usually tell when it is a good time to interrupt. You will probably notice the lilt at the end of a sentence and then a pause. That is a good time to jump in and share your thoughts.

For your part, you will use body language (a nod, um-hum, head tilt, etc.) to signify that you are engaged and listening to what the other person is saying. A really effective and confirming way to signify to the other person that you are really listening is to repeat the concepts back to him or her in some way. There is nothing worse than a person putting in the effort to have a conversation to convey important ideas only to discover that the other person is somewhere else in his or her mind.

Demonstrate that you are paying attention

Not only is it really important to show that you are paying attention when you are engaged in a conversation because you are having that conversation for a really good reason but it is also because you owe the other person respect and you are expressing that you are very interested in what the other person has to say.

Another really important way to demonstrate your interest in the other person and in what he or she is saying is by maintaining eye contact. It says a lot if you don’t look the other person in the eye. Your facial expressions should confirm that you are truly interested in the conversation, as long as you use the appropriate ones (head nods, deep interest through your eyes, etc.).

On the other hand, you don’t want to stare into the other person’s eyes without looking away every once in a while. Otherwise, it will seem strange and it might make the other person uncomfortable.

As far as how you stand during the conversation is concerned, it is best to take the stance that the other person has taken. That will not be noticed in a negative way. In fact, it probably will not be noticed at all, which is what you want.

Conclusion

Your ability to hold an effective, appropriate conversation is an important part of good business practice and it is essential for your brand and for your business. There are several topics that you can use as tools to ensure that the atmosphere of the conversation is comfortable, such as discussing passions and interests that you might have in common. That will break the ice and create a warm atmosphere. Being able to hold a successful conversation lets the other person understand that you are interested in what the other person has to say, that you are excited about sharing information that will benefit the other person, and, subsequently, that you care about the other person as a fellow human being.

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Author

  • Michael Cohn

    Michael Cohn is the founder and Chief Technology Officer (CTO) of CompuKol Communications. He has decades of experience in IT and web technologies. Michael founded CompuKol Communications to help small businesses and entrepreneurs increase their visibility and reputation. CompuKol consults, creates, and implements communication strategies for small businesses to monopolize their markets with a unique business voice, vision, and visibility. Mr. Cohn earned a Master’s degree in project management from George Washington University in Washington, DC; and a Master’s degree in computer science and a Bachelor of Science degree in electrical engineering from Fairleigh Dickinson University in Teaneck, NJ.