Ensuring Good Manners Online
You publish and syndicate a great deal of content online. Part of your desire is to get people to leave comments after reading your content. You want them to respond favorably to your writing but you may also receive negative comments at times. That is acceptable as long as they are polite.
The emotional reaction
People will generally react favorably to whatever is being said as long as the approach is acceptable. No matter what your relationship is with any given person, the most basic level at which you relate to that person is the emotional (human) level. People will never react to you (or your content) logically or intellectually before they will have an emotional reaction to you. No doubt, you have heard it said (and most probably agree) that all relationships are formed because people are able to touch each other in some emotional way. If you can’t succeed at doing that, you won’t be able to have a relationship with that person.
Constructive feedback
Feedback is essential for your growth as a business person. Although negative feedback can be painful sometimes, it is often the negative feedback that allows you to learn and progress the most. Positive feedback is extremely important and it allows you to feel good about what you are doing. However, positive feedback doesn’t really teach you anything. It is merely confirming that you have learned that particular lesson well already. On the other hand, negative feedback forces you to look at what you have done and written and to evaluate how you can improve upon what you have done already.
Constructive feedback is critical to your business’s success for many reasons and it is very important that you consider all of the feedback that you receive very carefully, even if you decide, in the end, not to do everything that your online connections suggest. As you are considering the feedback that you have received, there are a couple of questions that you will want to answer.
- Are you obligated to read all of the feedback that you receive?
- If you don’t agree with some of the feedback that you receive, is there a way to respond firmly but not inappropriately?
There are those people who believe that if you don’t have something nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything. However, when you think about it, where will that approach really get you? You won’t be any further ahead in your quest to constantly improve what you are offering if you ignore all negative comments that make you want to respond. Again, it is all in the approach.
The other approach
It is absolutely possible to respond to feedback in a way that doesn’t leave the other person itching to pull out a gun and shoot you. If you think that your response will illicit a negative reaction (even if you reacted negatively in the first place), go over what you want to say as many times as you need to until you have been able to come up with a civil, yet effective response. The mistake that some people make when it comes to responding online is that they think it doesn’t count if the two interacting people can’t see each other and can’t hear each others’ voices. So what. That doesn’t make the interaction or the message any less real or any less important.
How the feedback is presented
On the other side of the coin, if the person who feels compelled to deliver feedback feels that it is absolutely necessary (which you can probably understand), that person should first make sure that their message is valuable and that it will be beneficial. It is also perfectly acceptable for the person sharing the feedback to communicate what their background and credentials are. It is important to bear in mind that the feedback can be valuable but also be humble and respectful at the same time.
Content lives online forever
The idea that once content is posted online, it will remain there forever is extremely important. Anyone who is posting anything online should think about that before they push the button. It is important to always consider the consequences beforehand. Those consequences may be far-reaching and they may last for a very long time so you need to make sure that you are okay with that.
Transparency
Anyone who wishes to share feedback should also make sure that the feedback is being shared openly and honestly. The person who posted the original content as well as the person sharing the feedback should both be sure to include a call-to-action so that the other person has a way to interact with that person.
Conclusion
The Internet is all about open communication and constructive discussions that will help everyone involved to get their businesses to grow. Progress is impossible without discussions and without feedback. At the same time, it is critical that the communication that occurs between the two people is respectful and polite. If the approach is appropriate, the response will be much more favorable and the relationship will flourish because of it. There are several different types of comments that you can potentially receive on your content. It is a great idea to consider your responses to all types so that you can promote wonderful discussions with the people who follow you. Comments hold true value and it is significant and very positive that your online connections take the time to give you their opinions and thoughts.
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Agreed. Some people hold back their emotions in the real world, then let lose and vent online. Oops, I feel a rant coming on. Perhaps I had best leave it at that.
Via LinkedIn Groups
Group: NY/NJ Business Owners, Entrepreneurs and Start-Ups
Discussion: Building Credibility as an Expert
These are all excellent idea. One of the assets to building credibility I have found is picking a niche and really selling yourself on that nice. Whether you are an artist, businessman, or service professional, picking a niche will really build your credibility and make you recognized as a master. For example my local mechanic who takes in all types of vehicles and rarely has a full lot. Right down the way there is a mechanic who advertises himself as a “European Import Specialist” and his lot is constantly full. While I am positive they do similar work, why bring your BMW to the “everyman mechanic” when you can bring it to the specialist.
By James Kaiser
Via LinkedIn Groups
Group: The Content Wrangler Community
Discussion: Building Credibility as an Expert
Carolyn,
I, almost violently, disagree with just about everything you espouse. I contend that politeness is at the core of everything that is wrong with our world today. Abused women are polite so they will not be further abused. Politicians are diplomatic (another word for polite) so they can hide ulterior motives, deceit, and treachery behind pretty words and clever speeches. You are quite correct that the Internet is “about open communication,” but there is nothing in either the Internet charter or anything in human psychology that says “it is critical that the communication that occurs between the two people is respectful and polite.” If people confronted each other more with direct and honest truth, perhaps much of the world’s problems would not even exist.
I find that straight forward, honest communication often evokes the best responses and reveals a persons true feelings. Have you ever noticed that when people are confronted and angry they often reveal their true inner thoughts (usually to their dismay) without covering them over with polite (and meaningless) blather. The divorce rate in this country now exceeds 50%. Did you ever think that if two people had more honest discussions, with less diplomacy, before they got married, they might actually learn their incompatibilities and avoid getting involved with the wrong person. But no, every date is a complete study in politeness, always saying the “nice” thing, always saying the right thing, always covering faults and ill-thoughts with clever twaddle.
These discussions in LinkedIn are basically trivial. Sure the topics are important subjects, and we spout opinions and exchange “valuable” information, but what do we really accomplish besides a little bit of “pleasant” conversation and maybe an educational tidbit or two. When someone makes a stupid statement (even me), I feel no reluctance to call it stupid, nor do I feel any animosity when someone tells me that I’ve said something stupid. In fact, I’ve often noted in my own comments that some in the discussion may think I’m an “overzealous ass.” Do you think I’m cut to the quick when someone challenges me. But I suppose you’d prefer to have that challenge swathed in some diplomatic babble like, “What you said could possibly be incorrect; perhaps you should rethink your words.” Personally I prefer to hear, “Shelley, that’s bullshit and stupid.” It’s a lot more honest and a whole bunch fewer words.
I agree that constructive criticism is valuable, but I (that’s me personally) get the point much faster and more accurately when the person giving it doesn’t feed me psycho-babble to salve my feelings (and ease his own conscience). I have no argument with good manners when good manners are appropriate; I just don’t think that good manners are ALWAYS appropriate. I think there are plenty of occasion to call a spade a spade.
Have you ever heard the expression, “The squeaky wheel always gets the grease?” Well, sometimes the impolite, harsh, and direct comment also gets the attention it needs. All too often we miss the point when it’s swaddled in polite (and meaningless) rhetoric.
You throw out the psychological arguments to be polite and considerate as though they were fact, but they are not fact. What is fact is that those arguments are only someone’s opinion (yours and the psychologists who wrote the books you read). I’ve been called enough times for my “opinions,” but I don’t think it’s necessary to preface every word I write with “(IMO).”
I’m sure I’ll raise a few hackles with this post. Good!! I think these discussions need a lot more honesty, passion, and personal commitment… and a lot less meaningless politeness.
By Shelley Horwitz
+Duncan Malloch via Google+
I believe it is a sign of intelligence to be able to hold a conversation or discussion whilst being respectful. If you can not do this maybe starting up a business is not for you????